What If I Told You...

Inflammatory, shallow meme

Good question. What if Morpheus told you that you are part of the problem? How embarassing would that be? I mean... this is fucking MORPHEUS here. Talk about FML. Hmm.. anyway, I imagine the conversation would go something like this:

"Good god no! How can it be wrong for me to be so displeased about the poor way that people are treating other people, that I treat them poorly? How can it be, that in confronting the lack of love in some individuals, that it would be wrong for me to be as unloving to them as they have been to others? How could it be wrong to post inflammatory shallow memes to show how ignorant the other side is to post inflammatory shallow memes?"

Woahh... calm the fuck down (and stay the hell away from my memes - check warning here). Take a chill pill and let's talk this through.

You, taking a chill-pill

 Better yet.. let's not.


image from: www.pxleyes.com 

All You Lying Bitches

Words are funny.. they dont always necessarily mean what you think they mean.

For example,

• "ive been waiting a million years"
• "I feel like shit"
• I didn't hit your mom (I merely bitch-slapped her)

My hypothesis is that most people use words allegorically to express deeper meaning and emotion without regard to validity of expression (wuh?...) . This is why I can say to you "it feels like you stepped on my balls with cleates and then dug in while singing the national anthem in spanish", when it doesn't really feel like you are stepping on my balls with cleats and digging in while singing the national anthem. Rather, it merely felt like you were abusing me with no regards for my feelings .

dont try this

HOWEVER, that's not the point of this post. The point has to do more with the concept of lying and truth. I am a firm believer that most people don't outright consciously lie (although you mother-fuckers are out there), but rather use words to describe their reality (or justification) for their actions, their worldview, the reasons they do things. Their words may techincally be lies, BUT (big butt) they probably make sense in the context of the speakers rationale - no matter how fucked up that rationale may be.

Which kind of comes to my point... classical understanding of "telling the truth" and "lying" may not make as much sense today as does... say.. seeking to understand, engaging in another person's worldview, and finding the most loving way to respond. *Gasp* Good lord no... Has it really come to this?

*Photo from photobucket.com  / images.google.com

How to Be Less Superstious and Less of a Jackass

*Camera, lights, boob strips, action*... Superstition is the scourge of humanity. Actually, let me rephrase that.. anthropormophism is the problem.. well to be more succint.. people are the fucking problem. *cough*

Why are people the problem? Because people are fucking idol making, sun-worshipping, anthropromorphising, idiots (and i mean that in the most loving way of course). Only humans have the ability to use their power of collective symbol making to create ideas that enslave and institutions to reinforce; trees that talk and spirits to tend them. It's a fucking human thing.. we've been doing this shit for years.

My big problem is that so many people seem to be feeling all snuggy and warm about their stance against such dumbness, but I wonded if they have asked themselves these simple questions.

• Have I ever talked about the earth as if its running its own systems
• "the earth wants to keep equilibrium..."
• Do I talk about evolution as if it is an intellectually driven process?
• "evolution will adapt so that... "
• "this happened because evolution knew that we needed to..."

Because that's all supersition as well.

The earth systems dont' happen because the earth "needs" them to be in equilibrium: the shit happens because the laws of the universe lend to equilibrium.  The earth happens because of the draw of gravity on matter*, and the interaction of energy with gasses and liquids and solids: not because it "HAS" to.. but because that's the way the shit works. And you could change the entire galaxy and the "earth" wouldn't give a fuck, because the shit that makes up the "earth" and its systems, will react to whatever new environment its introduced to, molecule by molecule, atom by atom. Tear the shit apart.

Evolution is the same way. A big word given to a process that happens over a fuck-load long time, because life has developed in a manner that offers change. Evolution has no driving force behind it looking for the best thing to happen. Evolution is merely a description of survival. And as we all know, what survives isn't necesarrily always the best, its just whatever survived (watch The Phantom of Menace again and tell me that Jar-Jar Binks was the best thing for Star Wars, if you want to argue this ). 

So whats the point? Just realizing that we're all the problem. A lot of people hating on religions (mmm.. love me some good religion basing), and you know what? Im kinda down with it*.  But I do think its kind of stupid to go after one source and ignore another. Sort of like going after the leaves of a tree rather than its roots.

Here's a few more questions you can ask yourself:

• Do I believe in Karma?
• Reincarnation?
• Do I read my horoscope daily?

So let me just go ahead and say it. If you're gonna be a hater, than be a sincere hater. Hate the shit in you as well. Not only can we move towards a supersition free world, but you might not be so fucking obnoxious either.

*(dont worry if you're religious.. the concept of a creator can still exist.. you just cant override physics with it anymore)

The Truth is We're All Douchebags

So i took a "douche-bag test" the other day on Facebook. Im sure it was all scientific as fuck because at the end of the test, the results just totally nailed me (right? ;) ).. anyway, the bottom line... Im a part-time douchbag (thank you very much). .Which makes sense to me.. because im actually a pretty nice guy, but i have my douchey moments...  albeit, generally its in the wake of general doucheyness all around me.. but regardless, Im a part-time douche. touche! (i only wrote that last bit because I never realized the similiarity in the two words).

Full time douchebags

Anyway, this got me thinking.. i know im not the only part-time douche out there, because I run into fuckheads all day long.. mostly well-intentioned fuck-heads. Again, most of these people probably aren't douchebags all day long, to everyone they know (allthough, there are those special ones amongst us). The truth is they are also part-time douchebags. In fact, everyone is at least a part-time douchebag.  I gave the test to my friend and turns out he has "douchebag tendencies" as well. Surprise surprise (no, i dont really think this test actually means anything.. quit being such a fucking douchebag). Does this mean that people arent worth hanging out with or investing time in? well some can definitely get stuffed, but no.. in general people are reasonably nice and simply unaware of their douchey tendencies (i honestly dont think most people realize how douchey they are). Which doesnt make it feel any better, but you know.. 

So where does that leave us? Well, maybe we just need to realize that we all have a douchbag gene. Like take you for example. Im sure you're probably a nice guy or gal (nice ass), but I'm sure you're a douchebag every once and awhile. But maybe if you realized that you are a douchebag, you might be more likely to catch yourself in the moment and totally undouchefy.Which would actually be kind of a cool thing to do. Go figure... whatever.


*picture by Cavaletto / Flicker

Porn and a Chicken Suit

I just gotta ask.. what the fuck is up with porn? There's a lot of "not love" mojo going on in the scene. Dont get me wrong... DONT GET ME WRONG... (dont get me wrong motherfucker). I can dig me some good porn. but oh my god, there is some fucked up shit that goes on.

And this is where I start to think about the business... because the truth of it is, that if someone’s getting paid to have sex (woo!), they’re gonna do what their boss tells them they need to do to make a buck. People want it on your face... you got in on your face. People want it in your ass, … bam! you got it in your ass. I dont care how old you are.. i dont care what you’ve done before or havent … I dont care if youre emotional... if you want to do it you gotta let him do it to ya. oh.. and if this is gonna be your first time getting stretched that far.. even better.

Sure, maybe these young ladies dont care, but then again, maybe they dont care because they know thats what you got to do to get along in the business. All of us work shitty jobs that we got to do stuff we dont want to do.. who the fuck wants to dress up in a statue of liberty outfit and hold a sign in traffic? But we all put up with shit because we know we have to. Well, all im saying is maybe some of the young ladies are putting up with shit just becuase thats the way the business is ....

.... and thats kind of fucked up. Because, truth be known, id rather be making more money for my job and not having to wear the chicken suit... or bug the fuck out customers that clearly dont want to be bothered.. or tear the shit out of my feet on the hard concrete floor because I cant sit down as someone might see me and cause a ruckus. wtf? I imagine that the porn workers (c’mon were talking about those poor bastards(esses?) trying to get on in the business) would appreciate better pay and having to put up with less bullshit .

Truth be known, business owners suck balls (and not the good type of sucking balls). Its about profit and its about employees helping to realize that profit. The majority of us work shitty jobs which put shitty requirements on our time, headspace, and ability to be human and its all because of the demands of profit. And from what ive seen (did i mention the whole 'dont get me wrong motherfucker' thing?) , the porn scene (on whole) is scuzzy as fuck.